My wife and I were watching “Damages” on Netflix recently, and a dog appeared on the television. My dog, Katniss, a 40-pound German shepherd mix, immediately saw the dog as a threat and let loose a stream of barking louder than one of Lady Gaga’s outfits. After a few minutes she settled down. Later in the same episode there was a knock on the door, and Katniss thought it was a knock on our door. This time she barked for about 10 minutes. We had to pause the episode until she stopped. Glenn Close’s face was frozen on the screen … Continue reading My dog, Katniss: ‘This is my house; I have to defend it’
Sometimes I’ll see dogs being walked with leashes hooked to their collars, and the dogs are often straining and choking worse than when the WWF’s “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase would put an opponent in his signature sleeper hold, the Million Dollar Dream, when I was a kid watching professional wrestling on TV. It makes me want to smack them. Not DiBiase and his opponent—the dogs’ owners. Besides, I doubt DiBiase would take kindly to being smacked. I’ll try it and let you know what happens. Before Katniss came along, I vowed that when I got a dog of my … Continue reading Bonkers dog kept (mostly) in check with gift from my cousin
“Where’s my ring?” my wife said anxiously as she scoured the bedroom. She hates losing things. Sunglasses are often the most common casualty, which is surprising as my wife is more organized than a Trapper Keeper.* I don’t like it when she loses something, either—especially if I bought it for her, like, say, an engagement ring. We searched the house—and her car and anywhere else we could think of—for her ring. All the while Katniss, our 40-pound German shepherd mix, lounged on the bed like a queen gazing upon her realm. As most people do when they lose things, my … Continue reading Engagement ring disappears; does my dog like to eat carats?
One of the first things my wife and I did when we got Katniss was get her spayed. Actually, the very first thing we did, if I remember correctly, was give her a bath because she smelled like a truck stop restroom. After she was spayed she had to wear one of those plastic cones around her head for a while (pink, of course) to make sure she didn’t mess with her stitches, and at times we were worried said stitches on her little puppy belly were coming apart. Ultimately, the surgery was successful. When I rub her now-adult tummy—she … Continue reading To spay or not to spay: Making big decisions for dogs feels like playing god
As far as I know, Katniss was born right here in Austin. I didn’t know her for the first eight weeks of her life, however, so … Continue reading Ohio native asks: My dog is a Texan, but am I? Readers bored as usual
If you saw me walking around my neighborhood on a recent weekend morning with my dog and an empty six-pack of beer, it wasn’t because I was hammered and needed Katniss to guide me home. The empty six-pack was found on the side of the road; I used it to pick up a “gift” from Katniss, number two* of our walk. I had already used the lone bag I was carrying for her first “gift,” so my options were limited. But I wanted to be a good neighbor and pick up after her—and, I’ll admit, there are times when I … Continue reading Don’t be a turd—scoop your dog’s poop
It happens all the time: Katniss and I are walking on the sidewalk in our ‘hood, and someone, or several someones, is walking toward us. Who gets to use the sidewalk? Who should yield? (Side note: Whenever I think of people yielding to one another, I think of “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves” and Robin Hood asking Little John if he yields—gives up—as they fight in the middle of a river. You know the movie, the one with Kevin Costner as Robin Hood? It took me until last year—23 years after the film’s release—to realize Costner never took on an … Continue reading My dog and I own the sidewalk! … Unless you need it
Since this is my blog, and since it’s International Left Handers Day (keep reading to discover the significance), I thought I would depart from my usual Katniss-centric ranting. And no, I’m not running out of blog entry ideas. Yet. ___ It was 2008, I believe, and Hillary Clinton was running for president. She was touring the country trying to drum up support for her campaign, and so was another Clinton—Bill. Hillary, if I remember correctly, was still very much alive in terms of having a chance at winning the Democratic nomination for president later in the year, but some guy … Continue reading The time I met Bill Clinton
“Before you leave, let your dog relieve himself outside.” “Try not to feed your dog or give him water for at least four hours after you … Continue reading As a human girl, what would Katniss think about gender inequality?
When I came home from work today it was so warm in our house that I thought it could possibly be on fire. My first thought: Grab Katniss and get the hell out. If you’re wondering, my wife wasn’t home at the time, so that’s why my first thought wasn’t “Find your wife.” Fortunately the house was not on fire; our air conditioner was blowing out warm air, though. Even if you’ve never been to Texas in August, you could probably guess that it’s hotter than the devil’s hair dryer here. I have been worrying all summer that the A/C … Continue reading A/C kaput; scaredy-Katniss’ fear of fans briefly makes her a literal hot dog