A/C kaput; scaredy-Katniss’ fear of fans briefly makes her a literal hot dog

When I came home from work today it was so warm in our house that I thought it could possibly be on fire.

My first thought: Grab Katniss and get the hell out. If you’re wondering, my wife wasn’t home at the time, so that’s why my first thought wasn’t “Find your wife.”

Fortunately the house was not on fire; our air conditioner was blowing out warm air, though.

Even if you’ve never been to Texas in August,
you could probably guess that it’s hotter than the devil’s hair dryer here.

I have been worrying all summer that the A/C was going to die, and for possibly the first time ever, something I worried about incessantly had actually come to fruition! Of all the things I stew about, however, this is certainly not the worst that could happen to me. Far from it.

Even if you’ve never been to Texas in August, you could probably guess that it’s hotter than the devil’s hair dryer here.

Yes, the devil has a hair dryer. I assume. I hope I never find out in person.

Anyway, I turned on a fan to keep me and the pooch cool while I called the nearest A/C repair place to come save us. Of course, Katniss was afraid of the fan, as she is with most things, until she realized it blew out cooler air. She and the fan became closer than Batman and his spandex after that. One might say Katniss was quite a “fan” of the machine. (Note to self: This line is idiotic, so do not use it in the blog.)

Katniss tries to talk into the fan to sound like Darth Vader. And yes, that is my finger.

The A/C repairman got to our house quicker than a hiccup* and diagnosed the problem: a bad contactor. For all I knew he could have been making up the name of that part. He could have called it a two-stage flonkerton, and I would not have known the difference.** Fortunately it was just one part and not the whole system that had to be replaced. Katniss, as expected, was trying to give the repairman kisses and get him to play while he was trying to work, so much so that I had to have her on a leash the entire time so the repairman wouldn’t get a tongue bath. He escaped with minor licks.

The house is getting back to normal now, which means it’s time for me to do some editing for work. If your A/C ever goes out, it’s about as fun as “The Office” without Michael Scott. But remember this: It could be worse.

At least you have a place to live, and at least you have the capability of air conditioning once it works again. If nothing else, at least you’re at the end of this blog post and can go do something more worthwhile, such as counting the number of ice cubes in your refrigerator. At least then you’ll be cool.

___

*I totally stole that line. I wish I were that clever.

**Speaking of “The Office,” I actually would have known the difference. Flonkerton was a game Jim and Pam made up during the office olympics episode.

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